Category: Let's talk
Okay, so have any of you gotten told "wow, your blind and can roll out of bed. You're so amazing!" How do you handle it? Personally I try to be polite but it's tempting to give the sighted ones who say that a good kick.
I pretend I didn't hear them.
You know, I hate that! I was at the store one time. some creepy lady was following me and was right behind me saying, you're amazing. what's so amazing about me walking down an isle? ok... lol. I've learned to ignore and move on but man, it drives me insane!
I answer, "yes aren't I though." just kidding. HOw I respond depends on the person saying it, and on the situation. sometimes I use it as a teaching moment, some times I just modestly let it pass, some times I am more flippant saying something like, "And so are you!"
I am far from the most patient, I am probably pretty low on that scale, and I
can be polite and somewhat diplomatic, but by no means am I as good as some.
with that said I try not to scare people off because well I was rude about it. I
scare people off anyway. I just try usually to use it as a teaching moment and I
try to be really patient with it, as much as I can, and try to explain to people. It
usually means they don't understand the blind. I think at that point they are
without knowledge of the blind not trying to be ignorant and rude. I try to
reason with them sometimes too. It works if not all of the time, most of the
time.
Ignore.
Sometimes it's fun to play with their heads, like when they say that I might respond with something about ice cream.
I have certainly had it happen. It makes me uncomfortable. I usually change the subject or otherwise dismiss, and leave the room if it is at work feigning busyness. Honestly it is tricky. I am polite but you're tempted to say something snarky.
Oh yes, I am adult about it but I can't help but think, "I'm a grown man and don't have time for this shit."
Or you could say yeah, I know. I took an amazing shit this morning. Smelled kinda like you.
Lol!
Stupid Sightling: "you're so amazing! I don't understand how you get out of bed in the morning!"
Smart Me: "It's easy. I turn toward the edge, put my feet on the ground and stand up."
Hmmm that's actually a good way to handle it.
Once someone actually asked me if my sighted husband dressed me because I always looked so well put together. I thought about it for a second and responded that , no, he actually had more fun undressing me. I did not even crack a smile.
I just say absolutely. Thank you.
Smile.
I don't worry about it simply because it will happen again.
You, or we can't teach the world, so.
When it happens, it's usually sincere. It does seem stupid, and sometimes it is. However, being rude makes us go down, especially when no harm was intended. I always say that I certainly don't think I'm that great, and explain why, and also add that I do have my flaws like anyone else. I'm a teacher aren't I? Used to patiently explain all the time. *smile*
I agree with that. Smile.
People simply don't know and due to being able to see to a good amount once, I can understand why they see it as such.
Amazing.
Smile.
Oh I understand but they must be able to see it as talking down to us. I'm sure that's not what they're doing but that's how it comes across.
Certainly, but we are not superficial, right? So we are able to make that extra-step
and stop being rude and scornful to someone who is definitely clumbsy, but without
any intention to hurt. If we react rudely or violently, I think we are much, much
worse. My thoughts only.
Vlad.
It's obviously not amazing.
I do try not to be rude
I do too, but they were rude first.
Ever gotten the "how many fingers am I holding up?" I say I dunno, but one of 'em smells like shit.
I got that years ago and I said "how many am I holding up?" Then I gave them the finger. Lol that was a while ago and I certainly don't act like that anymore.
Laughing you guys.
Laughing.
Honestly, I just think to myself" yes, I really am amazing, but not for the reasons you think I am." I'm a writer, voice actor, music composer, singer, sound engineer, audio theatre producer, husband, father and I'm blessed to have a steady full-time job as a disabled minority which sadly has a very high unemployment rate. Fact that I can breathe, dress myself and get to my bathroom without falling down the stairs is just icing on the cake.
Wow I think that's a great angle!
Remy, so do I. Great positive attitude.
Easier said than done, of course.
I don't know how I'd respond to this. I have yet to have it happen to me. I
wanna say I wouldn't care.
As someone who was sighted, I know what it was like to see a disabled person
and be shocked by the fact they are out alone. The fact is, most sighted
people look at disability as a death sentence. They can't fathom losing their
indepedence. So seeing somebody out there, who is living their life, is kind of
astonishing to them.
Must admit that I have mellowed some as I have matured or gotten older if that's what you want to call it. When I was in college just losing my sight, I was sometimes playful and at other times synical in my responses to stupid questions from strangers and even family members or friends. Probably depended on my mood that particular day, which was determined by how many obstacles I encountered, and I mean literally. Lol. At times, I was playful to the point of being a prankster. I have mellowed, but there are still times that I just can't resist having some fun with it. Lol
I have been told several times I am amazing and I always ask why. Depending on the
response I ask them why they are assuming that I shouldn’t be able to do something, or I
ask them if they really think it makes me feel better about myself. Asking questions works
well because it makes people think about what they say and whether their assumptions
really make sense. It also makes them be more careful about jumping to conclusions.
It isn't a conclusion, it is an emotional reaction sort of.
If you were once sighted like the cowboy, or Lalady, or myself, you can understand how it looks to see a blind person walking down a street with lots of stuff they are just avoiding by some sort of bat sight.
Its like, damn, that's amazing!
The are walking quickly, coming to a curb and all of a sudden they just stop and don't fall off the curb or step out in to traffic and such.
I've been walking myself as a blind person. I know exactly were the door is to a business I have been to many times, so I just stroll along and when I get to the spot, don't even break stride, just turn, open the door and step inside.
Watching that is absolutely cool if you don't understand how.
Laughing.
Remy, you can really go to the bathroom? How you find it?
Amazing.
Laughing.
Let me add this so you get a prospective.
If you closed the average sighted persons eyes so they couldn't see at all or cheat, they'd be lost in there own home.
Talk about going to the bathroom? They couldn't do it.
If that house had steps, they'd fall down them.
They couldn't cook or even tell what type of food they had.
It be a major adjustment, and this is in the home.
Take them outside, and it is impossible.
I agree with those that has lost their site. I have always been very low vision or
totally blind. but it's probably the NT in me the mix of intuitiveness and thinking
that makes me think about the situation and respond appropriately. I see that
perspective that Miguel is speaking of so I mostly use it to explain. I haven't
been through what miguel has in terms of seeing a disabled person as a non-
disabled person, but I gather as much.
Okay, what in the world does NT mean? All these acranims you use.:)
The truth is, I should impress people. But, my situation is different. I have some jokes like "I'm the poster-adult for why you shouldn't abuse kids." And, partially, that's true.
However, with my other genetic problems, I'd probably have to use a support cane, and get a specially trained dog guide for people with more than one disability.
Yeah, life didn't deal me a fair deck, but I'm still alive, and some people aren't. So, for that, I thank God!
Merry Christmas,
Sarah "Happy Birthday, Jesus!"
It also drives me nuts. I'm usually like no I'm not. I do what I have to do to survive.
Great answer, LaLady! I am amazing, ForeReal, thanks for noticing, and so are you! Hahahahahaha!
I try to be polite really.
Nt was defined. Intuitive and thinking.
Is it not polite to agree with someone?
Laughing.
but I suppose it is in what state of affairs isn't it?
Or sometimes when you tell them about your talking gadgets they'll call that amazing too. I just say well, don't tell me that, tell the people who make this stuff for a living.
when people say that I say "yep, I'm amazing and so are you. In this messed up world if we can get through life with the minimum of fuss and muss we are all that way." also we are all god's children which makes us amazing.
Then why oh why did he have to make Donald Trump?
He makes all of us. We make what we will become.
he made Donald trump so that we all could learn what does not comprise good character. whoops.
I think that it is incredible to them I sometimes think it is as well. the way
technology is going anything is possible, as long as we keep it for the good, I'll
be happy with it and as long as it doesn't become invasive.
I even think my talking things are amazing.
Lets take my iBaby. I grab it, put it in my purse, and go out to the curb.
I pull it out, summon a limo, and go someplace.
When I gets to that place, I pulls it out again, and pays for my coffee or something.
When I gets home, I pulls it out again, and unlocks my door.
I'm trying to teach Siri to just get me a dman beer already. Don't tell me you don't understand.
Laughing.
Oh, and speaking of that, I ccan even read the labels, receipts and such too.
Bad assed, I say!
Above amazing.
Sometimes, we know. Right now, I'm scared. Sometimes when I lose a friend, I get like this. She was a sista, Tim. I don't know what I'll do. She was such a help, cause things ain't good, right now.
One person amazed me, and that was Michelle. She'd talk me out of depression.
That's great and all but you sort of hijacked my topic.
true Margop she kind of did.
Comments like this come from a good place, I guess, but it does drive me bat shit crazy when people look at me and say I'm amazing just because I can, say, do my own laundry.
If I'm crabby enough, I've been known to dig deeper when they say things by asking, "why?" That leaves some people flustered. If they want a thank you, they're not getting it from me, and I don't appreciate their patronizing attitude, even though they may not see their comment as indicative of such.
Amazing. Will you do my laundry too?
I will tell you everytime I have fresh crisp jeans you are amazing.
Laughing.